My Evolving Understanding of the Being and Mind Of Our Immutable God
The Being of God:
As a small child I saw pictures of a smiling Sun. That is
how I envisioned God as a small child. As I began to grow up, I realized this understanding of God had too
many limitations. My doubts about God allowed me to listen to anti-God voices around me,
which shook my belief in Him. I did not correlate God's voice and my answered
prayers to something supernatural to be awed and studied.
Today, my understanding of the being of God is that of an
infinite Spirit Being whose image we were created in. I think of Him as an infinite
spirit shaped like a sphere with no ending. I am trying to understand where all the parts of
His body exist. He cannot be a man in the sky with only one pair of hands,
feet, eyes, ears, and mouth, nose, heart, etc., as many of us have envisioned
Him to be (even as an old man with a white beard).
Could it be that all of our body parts that He created in us, in order to be like Him, are related to being a part of Him by way of an infinite numbers of infinitely small parts
that allows Him to know, see, hear, smell, and control everything from the
sub-atomic particle level, to the element, to the compound, to the molecule, to
the living cell, to the living creatures, to the physical structures, to the
planets, to the galaxies, to the universe? Could all of His physical,
emotional, and rational parts exist everywhere in Him, within the infinitely
large sphere we call God.
The Mind and Character of God:
As an infant I experienced the soothing voice and touch of
God to calm my anxieties of the unknown. I experienced all the goodness from
the Father that all of the rest of His creations did. I was loved and educated
by God on an individual basis, just as all of His creations have been. My idea
was narrowed to understand God as my protector, and provider, but I did not
understand how He did it.
As the spirit Jesus, I was a serious Godly young boy who did
my duty to bring to the world an understanding of God's love and mercy that God
had assigned me to do. I did this conscientiously just as Adam had done in
carrying out his duties to name the animals. God's comforting of me was as
rewarding to me as His rejection of me for my mistakes in my involvement in the creation of the world, and for my doubts
that I expressed on the cross, were to prove to be so psychologically devastating to me.
Since my birth on Earth, my understanding of God has grown
from that of my personal God only, to that of a perfect councilor, mediator,
leader, and judge of all of His living creations in the entire world. He raises
every creature according to what is best for their individual genetic makeup. I
now know that God makes the weather and controls who the living beings that we will encounter within our environment. He knows our inherent weaknesses and strengths, and He
works with us according to how we relate and grow in Him, and He never tests us
more than we can bear.
I no longer see my eternal judgment of everlasting
cut-off as some personal dislike of me by God, like many other people judge me.
But instead I view God's perfect sentencing and judgment of my soul to death for
eternity as something to be appreciated and admired for His salvation of the
world through me, His faithful servant.